Having a first child is difficult enough for any family, but it’s even more difficult when you’re a single parent who will be raising the child by yourself.  Many women in this position find they experience a tremendous fear of failure.

If you find yourself in this position of being a single parent, there’s a good chance you’re looking for information on being the best mom you can be.  Here, in bite-size form, are some suggestions on how you can be a good parent.

To make extra money for raising your child: find a way to supplement your income from home. Find ways that you can share responsibilities, such as childcare, laundry, cooking and transportation with other single parents.

To meet your baby’s needs: sign up with a single parents’ support group, look for help from your church, get into parenting classes, and take part in your child’s school events and activities. Also, as your child gets old enough to communicate, spend some time talking with him or her, sharing those things that you both enjoy and that you both think are important.

To find time for yourself:  Find a mentor or a support group who will let you feel at home as you talk about the things that are happening in your life. Take turns with other single parents taking care of several children. When it’s your turn without your child, use the time to do something you love.

To make sure you provide a good home:  Try living with a friend or living in a group home for single moms.  Or live with your parents or other relatives.

You can also find some financial relief by living in subsidized housing or by finding an inexpensive apartment.

If you’ve become a single parent because of either death or divorce, we have some special suggestions for you.  While you’re raising your child, also take time to find out once again what your likes and interests are. Find time to build up confidence in who you are as an individual.

Single Parenting as a Result of Divorce or Death:

Losing a spouse may also include losing an extra income, family members and possibly some friends. Take time to re-discover what your interests are and find confidence in who you are.

Also, try to keep home and work life separate.  Don’t get into the habit of working more than you have to work.  Remember you need to spend more time with your child now that the other parent is gone.

Similarly, don’t use your job as an escape. Re-evaluate your work schedule, always understanding that your child needs to spend time with you.

Let your child become her or his own unique self.  It’s hard sometimes not to become too attached to your child following divorce or a spouse’s a death, remember that it is your job to nurture your child; it’s not their job to be your source of healing.

Instead, look for healing in a support / friendship group or in a mentor.

Let your child assist you with chores around the house appropriate to his or her age, but be careful not to overwhelm the little one.

Some final suggestions for you:  Never lose sight of your life goals.  Figure out ways to provide a good environment for your child, all while continuing your own career and schooling.

Remember, though, not to be surprised or overwhelmed at just how much sacrifice, time and energy you will need.  But this is something you can manage as long as you have a good support structure in place.