Whether you are a seasoned mother or a brand new mother, experiencing a miscarriage can trigger tumultuous feelings for you, your partner and your entire family. It is one of the most challenging potential experiences in parenthood. However, you are not alone. Some statistics estimate that at least 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. The frequency does not lessen its emotional stress for each individual, and many mothers underestimate the weight of such an emotional loss. Although the body has an uncanny ability to recuperate after experiencing trauma, an individual’s feelings are unique and require an indeterminable about of time to heal. Remember, you are not alone in your experience, and there are many ways to begin the acceptance process of your miscarriage. If you start feeling pregnancy symptoms you might not be alone.

Educate Yourself:

1. Miscarriages occur for multiple reasons. Some of the reasons include hormonal problems, lifestyle habits and decisions, such as smoking and drinking, age or trauma. More potential reasons exist, and a combination of factors could be attributed to your miscarriage.

2. There are different types of miscarriages, and you should consult your doctor to investigate the most likely factors for your type of miscarriage and the probability of future miscarriages.

3. For some women, miscarriages are both shocking and devastating. Recognizing the warning signs, such as sudden weight decrease and intense back pain, can help women seek early intervention in the future.

4. Prevention of future miscarriages is vital once you have experienced one. There are many feasible steps you can take to decrease your chances of a future miscarriage. A healthy lifestyle, diet, and emotional life are a few examples of prevention. Once pregnant, there are precautions which should be followed to ensure a healthy and safe pregnancy, and your doctor can inform you of how to proceed.

5. The American Pregnancy Association is a good resource for further educational information.

Address Your Emotions:

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed a theory about grief and she divided it into five steps:

1. Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

2. Anger: “Why? Who is to blame?”

3. Bargaining: “Change this for me and I will do anything.”

4. Depression: “I’m too emotionally crippled for day-to-day living.”

5. Acceptance: “I’m not alone, and I should find others who experienced the same.”

Grief, however, does not adhere to time, and many people do not move through each step back-to-back or one at a time. Your grief is as unique as your particular loss, and you should acknowledge the grieving process, embrace it, and allow it room to develop in your life.

Maintaining Your Relationship:

Because grief is so overwhelming and emotionally taxing, a marriage can suffer as a result. It is important to acknowledge that all people mourn differently, and because the male and female experience is so different during a pregnancy, each gender has a different approach to grief. Seeking a marriage counselor to help you empathize with your partner’s particular mode of grieving could be very beneficial for your relationship.

The Final Step: Support Networks

1. Family: Often, family desires to share in loved one’s loss. Do not be afraid to ask for your family’s support in your time of need.

2. Friends: Allow trusted friends to play a role in your emotional recovery.

3. Spiritual Community: Your church or spiritual community, if you have one, is a great resource during your grief. Call on your community’s leaders to help you cope with your loss.

4. Support Groups: Support groups exist for all forms of grieving, including grief over miscarriage. Many forums exist in your community and on-line.

5. Therapists: As before, communication with a professional therapist can help not only your relationship, but you as well.